Best Big Brother Ever
by wierdwiz
Summary: Al thinks about the changes in his life on his second trip of the Hogwart's Express. Lily makes him feel better. Implied character death, mentions of SLASH.


**AN:**So this is my first fanfic and I don't have an editor so It might not be the best. Constructive comments and criticisms greatly appreciated.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling nor do I make money off this.

Warnings: Alluded to character death, mentions of Slash (minor), alluded to mental trauma.

Don't read if you have issues with the aforementioned.

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><p>Albus Severus Potter, Al for short, was having his best trip to Hogwarts yet. Of course, this being his second trip to Hogwarts meant that this didn't mean much. He didn't even really want to go. Not after his first time. That was ….<p>

That was too hard to think about…

But, he couldn't just abandon Lily. Not when she finally got the courage to ask to go to Hogwarts after years of putting her feeling aside and being home schooled for their parent's piece of mind. It wasn't right. He needed to get over his fears and…

The memories…

He had a responsibility to be there for her. He helped teach her when they were home schooled together by mum. In that time they did almost everything together, they studied together, they ate together, they walked together, and they talked together. Heck, sometimes they even slept together. After all that, he felt I was his job to protect her from danger. Well, be her backup really. Lily could handle herself most times. Still, he felt this way because he believed it was his duty as her older brother…

As her older brother…

He's not going to think about it not here. Not alone with her just a cross from him looking out the window at the English countryside passing by. Not at Hogwarts in the Slytherin common room or dorms that he spent only one night in long ago. Not at the burrow with his grandparents, mother and Weasley family that love him unconditionally and definitely not in the shadowed halls of the broken home that belongs to the remnants of his father, the place they once knew as home...

Home no longer exists…

Well, it's true. After coming back from Hogwarts when he was eleven he started to feel more and more uncomfortable. It wasn't very noticeable at first but he started to feel the like things were getting colder even though the warming charms were maintained. Then it started to get louder, so he could her even the slightest creeks in the wooden floor boards or scuffling of shoes. After that everything started going grey and the shadows seemed to have things hidden in them just beyond reach. It was during this decent that he realized he no longer felt safe and that home was lost…

So was family…

At least in the traditional sense. He still had his both his parents alive. In fact, they were quite civil with each other all things considered. But when his father was found in bed with his arch nemesis from high school, on multiple occasions, by his mother, he knew a relationship was usually going to end. His father was no exception. They divorced a week later. His father got remarried to his nemesis. Then his father never visited, despite being owled by him, Lily and even his mother to do so on multiple occasions. At least his father found love…

Unlike him…

Besides his affections for his sister, and, to a lesser extent his mother and extended family, he has not felt love for anyone. He doesn't know why not. Nor does he care. He'll probably find love before he dies. He's not that much of a pessimist. He's just doesn't with whom? That'll come later after he interacts with people his own age again when he reaches Hogwarts with Lily…

Lily…

She's shaking him.

"Huh?" he says in his oblivious.

"We're here. Get ready to go." She answers excitement glows in her eyes.

"Already," he replies just becoming aware of where he is. "Wow. That was fast."

"No it wasn't. You just zoned out for a while. What were you thinking about?" she asks with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Nuthing much. Just stuff." he answers.

"What stuff? Is it girls?" she asks,

"No." he responds

"Boys?", she asks with a cheeky smirk on her face

"Nn-n-no," he stammers as a slight pinkness appears in his cheeks," It was my life in general, and whether or not I am a good older brother."

"Don't worry Al. You're the best older brother alive ever!" she says as she hugs him with all her strength, only to run off towards the castle once she's done.

'Best older brother ever' he thinks with a smile forgetting all his concerns a previous thoughts and fears with that thought on his mind. After all it's not every day you're proclaimed the best older brother ever…

The best older brother alive ever…

Her only older brother…

Alive at least.

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><p><strong>AN2: <strong>I've kinda had this idea for a Harry Potter verse for a while that I haven't seen anyone do. So I'm going to attempt to make it a reality but my writing is kinda bad/repetitive. But yeah, James is dead in this verse. He was even killed on the Hogwarts express on Al's first day shocker. Ironically James is also a seer in this verse, but that is for another time. Also I'm not a Drarry fan(it's near the bottom of the list, like I prefer the canon relationship to it) but, it was one the few ships that I could work with to break up Ginny and Harry's relationship.


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